ntah hapa hapa ntah

2months tak update blog !!!!
Adoi !! otak bercakap tapi malas nak tulis.. camner..
Anyway, too much mental attacked that is the main reason why this blog was not updated.. nak flash back ker nak citer mende lain, pun tak tau..
Flashback skit la ek.. stayed home most of the time macam orang kaya, tak keje but spent like i was paid 10k a month.. of coz the must-do activity – pool is a must. Literally became a facebookholics. The problem when i got nothing to do is i became very analytical. I think a lot, i assume a lot so another daily activity was creating fights with darling. In that case am not taking the blame alone as his attitude lately really invites the quarrel. Also lately, lepaking with my cousins and a group of good fun friends are another addictive activity.
And then come fasting month. I would categorized this Ramadhan as the most unlucky month for me and some who are close to me. Banyak kecelakaan seperti yang berikut :
- Darling’s house got attacked by storm, roof flew, house flooded, property damaged.
- Best friend’s car got break into, lost laptop.
- Cousin’s car got smashed, lost PSP.
- My car accident !!
- I got a job !
Ha ha ha !! got a job is not really a kecelakaan la of coz, it’s just that I don’t have any experience in this particular industry but since i am a good manager & my specialty is delegating, it should be easy for me kan..
Still tak de mood nak tulis nih but kene tulis nanti lagi malas..
Tgh piker what’s the next topic..
C’est La Vie.

The 4 letter word

My definition of love is very difficult to comprehend or fulfill. I doubt tht it is ever exist in years tht i've been a person, maybe there are but from personal experience, i've never heard of it.. I want a perfect love. Love tht is shared only between 2 person tht are made for each other. Love tht dont allow any tears until death. Love tht can be felt in every heartbeat. Love tht is bigger than life. Love tht are special in everywhere exclusively to the couple. Love tht share sorrows and loneliness in betweens the happiness. Love tht does not betray. Love tht trust without doubt. Love tht is undivided. Love tht is not hypocrite.
I'm quite tired of crying at nights thinking about the love in me. But i guess if the expectation is too high, impossible is the answer. I tried lying but only fools lie to themselves.
Still i am hoping for the impossible coz i am not gonna sell my soul for anything less. I'd rather die....
I am hoping tht God will reward me for every tear drops and heart breaks i've gone thru.
The impossible is my hope or is it the hope tht is impossible ?

THE DARK KNIGHT - roxxxx !!!!!

Welcome To A World Without Rules.

Why So Serious ?

Lets Put A Smile On That Face.

This movie way surpassed my expectations, better than I hoped. The Dark Knight doesn't just live up to your expectations, it breaks thru the glass ceiling of your wildest dreams !! Awesome ! The performance are all top notch.

Christian Bale owns this role. He is Bruce Wayne and he is Batman. He brilliantly personifies all the deep traumas and misgivings of Batman's altar ego. Bruce Wayne arrivals and departures in style, playboyish manner, emphasized the character.

Heath Ledger made a fine true Joker. Nothing short of spectacular, the pure psychotic behavior. Jack Nicholson brought the class to the character but Ledger brings in the seediness. To watch him walk away from an exploding hospital dressed as a nurse is my most favorite moment. In fact, all of Joker's moment are completely believable, relentlessly disturbing, nightmarishly cool !. Exceptionally twisted and brilliant. It hits the mark so purely that even Batman himself is made to feel like a secondary character.

Aaron Eckhart plays a hero who doesn't have to wear a mask. Harvey Dent, the DA, a good honest man who is willing to bear the weight of bringing down all criminals on his shoulders then turn to be Two-Face when his love one were bombed alive right after he told her, everything is gonna be okay. He put whoever played Two-Face or DA or White Knight, before, to frigging shame.

Maggie Gyllenhaal actually made Rachel Dawes character looks good even she might be considered a bitch for having 2 gentlemen wanting her in their lives. Lucky bitch ;-). She worked it well and brought back the character after Katie Holmes made it a wasted one.

Batman does some detective work this time around. Creating supercool devices (please tell me what model Nokia that he used at the Lau's tower) assisted by Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman), the CEO of Wayne Enterprises. The Batmobile look like a normal kereta kebal in the old war zone. But the Batpod is considerably cool, the tyre besar gilerz makes it very stable.

Also kudos to Gary Oldman (Gordon the Lieutenant), Michael Caine (Alfred the Butler), Eric Roberts (Maroni the Mob), Chin Han (Lau the HK Mob), Cillian Murphy (Scarecrow, came out a few seconds at the beginning), Michael Jai White (Gamble the Mob), Nestor Carbonell (Garcia the Mayor), William Fichtner (the Bank Mgr, he was the bad cop in Prison Break S2).

The script was fantastic. The story moved forward at all times, interconnecting in every plot.

Cinematography is insanely good !. The camera did as much work communicating elements as the dialog did. I could just sit and watch this movie on mute again and probably still like. But, hehehheheh, maybe after a few hundred times lah..

When everything looks good, we have to look at the director. Christopher Nolan may be one of the greater talent today. He has not made a bad film yet but this film is his crowning achievement. We salute you !!

Just one tiny weeny issue - nevermind that the hero turns to zero and the joker turns to be the smart-ass, the heroin also must die. Hmmm, it's a typical men's world. On that note, it's not so bright in the men's world, eh ? Where everybody either dies or turn bad at the end :-)

I will definitely watch this movie uncountable times and a few times on IMAX. (Plus with all the density of adrenaline rush, multiple viewing is required). I will find as many Dark Knight posters there are to add to my posters collections. I'd probably buy the original DVD and will cut a "smile" on anybody who touches it ! hahahahaha !!!!!

p/s : I found myself imagining the Malaysian politicians that suits the characters in The Dark Knight :-). Even life in Gotham City are more freaking serious than our comical real life...

c'est la vie ;-)

Kembali ke asal...

Inna Lillahi Wainna Lillahi Rojiunn..

Azri's mom pass away on July 17, 2008 at 11am at HKL.

I spoke to Azri the day before. His mom fell down at home and she fell hard, hit the head and was in comma due to brain injury. Doctor confirmed that she was brain dead. Medically, if someone is brain dead, he or she is considered dead. Mommy (that's what Azri and us, all the friends called his mom) was depending on a life support machine. Since she was pronounced brain dead, Azri & family were given a choice to let her live using the life support machine or to pull it off. The only problem was that her heart was still pumping like a normal person. Damn !! I sure do not want to be put in Azri's situation, to decide on something like that. They also referred the matter to an Ustaz who said, dari segi agama, it is better to let her decide herself.

That saved the situation. I don't think Azri would live with it, if he decides otherwise.

God loves her more - she was gone on her on willing with beloved family beside her.
May God bless her soul. Al-Fatihah.

p/s : i spoke to lynn (azri's wife) on the funeral day. she is now more worried for azri as he is very very close to his mom. she really don't know how azri would live without his mom.

azri, my condolences to you and your family. be strong. take your time to grieve but not too long as you have your family to worry about. your wife, your 2 soon to be 3 kids loves you. we, your friends are just a call away..

c'est la vie.....

tiba-tiba busy...

these past few days, since balqis was born, my life suddenly turn from lying down at home the whole day doing dvd marathon (literally) to a driver to my new anak angkat...

she kene demam kuning so we (shah, elly, balqis & me) went to hospital ampang to get her checked up. after 2 hours of waiting, balqis kene admitted as the nurse said "dah teruk jugak la".

i left early as i have plans to go to JSD birthday party with my cousin. balik rumah, spent a good one hour making myself casually cute, went to cuz's house to potong fruits. her 2 elder ones, very-curious kids were asking lots of questions. "kenapa aunty potong macam tu ?" "kenapa aunty rendam dalam air garam?" "kenapa budak kecik cannot go to the party?" "boleh tolong?" while the youngest happily feeding herself with the fruits. i answered a few tolerated questions until am out of answers so i said "observe !" so, diam la kejab the kids.. until the eldest said "ha, i got it!" see.... you learn more when you observe.. ;-)

so, to party.. i met an old friend and many new friends. food sedap gilerz but my small tank cannot fit all.. lepak til abt 3am..

the next day, late afternoon, balqis is discharge.. alhamdullillah.. drove them back home and rest..

then i met up with my dear friend, rina.. we went to midv coz she wanted to send her pda phone for software installation. then we walk around looking for a nice fancy laptop bag. about 15mins before the mall closed, i found one nice bag, slightly big but just nice to safe-keep all my gadgets & cables.. am happy..

then we watch "hancock". hmmm, my review - ok lah. nothing to shout about, just a simple entertaining movie.. setakat nak lepak tengok wayang.. after that we head home..

a few day ago i gotta know that my cousin, wan, got a laptop as a gift.. woohoo !! scandal terror gilerz bagi laptop.. mana nak cari eh.. anyway he got a compaq laptop, the one that intended to get myself before i changed my mind to this hp tablet.

so yesterday, i went lepak with wan & his best friend wawa, to show off the new laptop. nice one, wan.. lepas nih mintak nokia communicator pulak ye.. yg tu bagi i lah.. am your most darling cousin kan.. hehehhehe..

today i got a few meetings to attend and tomorrow am sending elly, shah & balqis to kluang, to elly's mom's house. elly will berpantang there for a month or so.. see, i am a good friend and good godmother.. hehheh, in fb, i am rated top 5 as best potential mother. wait til i have my own.. arrr, dunno what will happen..

p/s : yesterday, i got this sms from yan - assalamulaikum dan salam sejahtera..kemungkinan diorg akan cabut life support machine mak azri bsok..sementara tunggu ahli keluarga yg lain dtg..so standby..mkin akan dikebumikan kat gombak.

azri is another good friend of mine. i was under his management the first time i entered the entertainment industry, professionally. his family has become like a family to the gang.

this waiting is the worst ever in my life..

c'est la vie...

Maryam Balqis

July 8, 2007.
elly was admitted to hospital putrajaya after her normal check-up.

July 9, 2008.
i reached the hospital at 1.30pm. already waited there since 5am were shah, the hubby & ayang, the sis. when i arrived elly just got out from the procedure room. dr had to put in the second dose of medicine to induce contraction. the first dose at 7.30am didn't work.

we had to wait at the lobby / cafe when the visiting hours' over. lunch & ciggy break, we went in back at 4pm. elly started feeling the pain at about 3pm. then her opening was still 2cm. at 5.30pm still no change. at 6.50pm she felt her contraction pain every 2mins so we called the dr. first the nurse were just checking the baby's heartbeat. it was amazing to hear like a music..

at 7.10pm, the nurse checked her contraction again and said she was already at 4cm so they were getting ready to trans her to the labour room. she reached the labour hall at 7.20pm. shah were asked to signed a "term and conditions" paper before being allowed in. before he could read everything, he was rushed in.

ayang and i waited outside listening to the azan maghrib. ayang just took the sweater and ready to lie down, me just did a mental plan to open up my laptop and go online. before i could get my butt up to get to my laptop bag, shah came out with a big smile and a loud and clear "alhamdullillah ! it's a baby girl. elly sihat, baby pun sihat"

holy god ! in just 5mins of pushing, baby maryam balqis bt. shahrul were born at 7.30pm, weighted 2.46kg.

we waited again while the medical team clean up the baby & stitched up elly.

at ciggy break, i had a talk with shah. calming him down, reminding him that a father's responsibility from my point of view. my 3 main points were to be a responsible father & husband (now that he saw the suffer the wife went thru during labour to bring his baby to life), to save up and get a car (my sole condition to help them get marry 3 years ago was to get a car first before a baby, in which they already broke it but nevermind as long as they don't get too excited and neglect their priorities), and esp for shah, not to become a bastard while the wife is in pantang.

at 9pm, shah were allowed in again to see baby & mommy before they were brought back to the ward. at 10pm, mommy & baby were transferred to the ward. at 10.30pm, we went into the ward to see them. alhamdullillah, baby is very healthy and elly is very happy.

at 11pm, we left the hospital and finally got something to eat. i sent ayang back and then convoy with shah to keramat to bury the uri. (thank you cuz & hubby, for helping to buy the ingredients for the recipe to clean up the uri). at 1am, uri was buried.

at 2am, i went for a very late nite teh tarik with my cousin & hubby til 4am.

july 10, 2008.
elly was discharge at 4pm. went back to their house to packed mommy's and baby's stuffs and we reached keramat house at 6.30pm. i lepak til 10.30pm. dah rasa penat and sakit badan after 2 days of non-stop action..

i am really really happy for elly & shah. balqis is a very cute baby and i think she's gonna be a good daughter as she don't meragam a lot.. welcome to world baby balqis ;-)





c'est la vie ;-)

new addition to the world

i don't usually get thrilled when talking about babies as i have had traumatic experience myself..

but,
happy happy news..

my cousin have 3 kids, asyka, amar & alysha, whom i promised to be the cool aunty to and can party with ;-)

my dear friend got 2 adorable nieces, iszahraa & sophea, whom i discreetly have a playtime with and love me a lot ;-) esp iszahraa..

my good friends, eric & felicia, just got their second daughter, andrea, a few months back. big sis, chloe, already gone to nursery school ;-)

my dear friend's cousin just delivered twins a few days back. a baby girl & a baby boy - inez & johan. sherry had to undergo a C section coz of some complication but all mom & babies are in good condition ;-)

my cousin's friend, rima, just delivered a premature baby. mom is ok but but baby still in icu..

my good friend, samantha, is 5 months pregnant after about 10 years of marriage. sam & ollie have adopted 2 kids, jodie & harry, even sam herself were adopted along with his two late brothers. she's in london now and am hoping to see her tummy before she delivers. god bless her ;-)

one of my scriptwriter for my recent play, redo1's wife is also expecting their 3rd child. she's not really well and i pray for her well being..

some of my school & college friends i just got to keep in touch back thru facebook are also either pregnant due to deliver soon or just delivered recently or at least just added an addition to their family in the pass year ;-)

my best friends, shah & elly, are expecting their first after 3 years of marriage. elly is due anytime now. shah just called me last nite to tell me to be on standby e.g. to become an ambulance ;-).. i am on call :-)

c'est la vie !!

for my darling... ;-)

just to cheer u up !! chill baby ;-)

hmmm... *wink*

c'est la vie !!

p/s ; darling, i love you..

I miss the time when we first met.
I miss our firsts.
I miss you telling me you love me.
I miss you telling me you miss me.
Oh God, I miss you.

We're so afraid of age.
We do everything we can to prevent it.
We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old.
With someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder.
Or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.
It hurts to see you love another.
It hurts to watch your love switches.
Oh God, it hurts til I can't breathe.

I just wanna tell you nothing you don't wanna hear.
All I want is for you to stay.
Live our life together.
Why don't you just take me where I've never been before.
I know you want to hear me catch my breath.
I love you til the end.

I know what you're really saying even when you don't say it.
You're mad at me because I'm no fun anymore.
I'm always bitching about life.
What you're really saying is this isn't the life you wanted, is it ?
What if this is all there is to our life ?
It means this is it.
I know what I want because I have it in my hands right now.
Do you know what you want ?
Because you better tell me now if I'm not it.

We're not a mistake just because we don't have anything.
And we are gonna last.
You know how I know ?
Because I still wake up every morning and the first thing I want to do is see your face.
I get so afraid sometimes our life's never gonna start.
But we're already in our life.
It's already started.
This is it.
I'm not going anywhere.
I love you til the end.

Oh God, please tell me that I deserve this love..